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There have been days over the past 3 years that I struggle just to get through the day. There have also been days that were amazing- that I didn't want the day to end. I think most of us go through that. Good and bad, sweet and sour, amazing and mundane.
Update on me:
After my body got used to the 2 medications I was prescribed (SSRI and extended BC) I began to feel loads better! I felt content that I was finally able to find a doctor that listened to me and that I'd found a medication combination that worked. Phew! I felt like everything was great and I was optimistic. I still had bad days of course, but I felt more under control than I had in such a long time. About 2 1/2 years of mostly good days.
But then January 2019 came. And it hit me hard. I had horrible depression all month and a nasty cold for 3 weeks. "Winter blues" was an understatement. I'd had several rough days in December but I just brushed it off as 'being stressed about Christmas' or 'not enough self-care' or other excuses. But those feelings didn't go away after the rush of the holidays. I was sleeping as much as I could, crying all the time, disliking my family, not accomplishing anything, withdrawing myself, etc. It was an ugly month and 1/2. Now I'm second guessing how well I'm actually doing... Is my SSRI strong enough? Do I need a higher dosage? Has my body gotten used to it and it's becoming ineffective? Or is everything fine and I'm just going through a bad bout of depression?
So I've been thinking a lot about depression and I've decided to write a post on just that. Stay tuned.
Do you, like me, have PMDD and depression? Have you been able to find a doctor who listens and who you like? If you're in the thick of it, hang in there! If you're at a low point and re-evaluating, you'll get through this! If it's smooth sailing at the moment, good for you; cherish it! In my experience life never stays the same for very long. :)
"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he's been robbed... Life is like an old time rail journey- delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride." -Gordon B. Hinckley
